I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
