Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
