Do you still have your period?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
is it fun? or sober?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
