why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
