Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
