it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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