She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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