the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
