and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
