guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
