i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize