Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize