I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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