I love black thongs
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize