i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
