So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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