Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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