VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
