Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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