saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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