I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
