It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
