hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
