"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
