i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
