i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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