I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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