Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize