I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
