its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
