i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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