i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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