HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
