just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I looked at my own cervix.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
