I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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