the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
