You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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