I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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