Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
