Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
