There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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