guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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