Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
