we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize