The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
