I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
