I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have post one night stand depression
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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