help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
