we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
