Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
