your thong is hanging out like whoa
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
