In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
another moral hangover. fuck.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize