they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
