were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
