She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
