There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was confusing and full of hummus
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
