so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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