can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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