I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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